It’s not uncommon for children to feel shy or reluctant to greet relatives or elders. While this behavior can be frustrating for parents, it’s important to approach it with understanding and patience. According to a 2022 study in Developmental Psychology, about 30% of children aged 3–7 struggle with social greetings due to shyness, anxiety, or lack of familiarity. Addressing this issue requires a mix of empathy, practice, and positive reinforcement.

Why Children Avoid Greetings

Several factors contribute to this behavior. First, shyness is a natural trait in many children. The American Psychological Association (APA) notes that shyness is often linked to temperament and can make social interactions uncomfortable. Second, children may feel anxious around unfamiliar people or in new settings. A 2021 study in Child Development found that children under 10 are more likely to avoid greetings when they feel overwhelmed or unsure. Finally, lack of practice or modeling from adults can also play a role. If parents don’t consistently model polite greetings, children may not understand their importance.

Practical Strategies to Encourage Greetings

  1. Practice at Home
  2. Role-playing greetings in a safe environment can help children feel more confident. For example, pretend to be a relative and encourage your child to say “Hello” or “Nice to see you.” According to a 2020 study in Early Childhood Education Journal, regular practice reduces social anxiety and improves greeting behavior.
  3. Use Positive Reinforcement
  4. Praise your child when they greet someone, even if it’s just a small step like a wave or a smile. The Journal of Applied Behavior Analysis (2021) highlights that positive reinforcement increases the likelihood of children repeating desired behaviors.
  5. Prepare in Advance
  6. Before meeting relatives, explain who they’ll see and what to expect. For instance, say, “We’re going to visit Grandma. She’s excited to see you! Can you say hi when we get there?” This reduces uncertainty and helps children feel more prepared.
  7. Be a Role Model
  8. Children learn by observing adults. Greet others warmly and consistently in front of your child. A 2023 report by the Harvard Graduate School of Education emphasizes that modeling polite behavior is one of the most effective ways to teach social skills.

Addressing Underlying Anxiety

If your child’s reluctance to greet others stems from anxiety, it’s important to address the root cause. The CDC notes that children with social anxiety may need extra support, such as gradual exposure to social situations or professional guidance from a therapist. Teaching relaxation techniques, like deep breathing, can also help them feel calmer in social settings.

Building Confidence Over Time

Encourage your child to participate in activities that build social skills, such as playdates, team sports, or group classes. According to the World Health Organization (WHO), children who engage in social activities are more likely to develop confidence and communication skills.

The Bigger Picture

Teaching children to greet others politely is about more than just manners—it’s about helping them build social confidence and respect for others. With patience, practice, and positive reinforcement, children can learn to navigate social interactions more comfortably.

References

  1. Developmental Psychology (2022). "Shyness and Social Greetings in Children."
  2. American Psychological Association (2021). Understanding Shyness in Children.
  3. Child Development (2021). "Anxiety and Social Avoidance in Early Childhood."